I haven't posted lately because I swear the first few days after I created the blog I had to wear bandaids on all of my fingers because they were so sore from typing! Also, I'm just lazy. This post will be by necessity short because I actually have shit to do today, believe it or not. I know, I know; me, have a life? WTF?
Today is the 9 year anniversary of the day my mom died, so that pretty much sucks. I slept half the morning away because I didn't want to deal with being sad. She was an amazing person and I spent the entirety of my teenage years being a massive dick to her. I pulled my head out of my ass when I went college, and started to realize I was actually pretty lucky to have her as a mom. She had a kick-ass sense of humor, didn't take shit from anyone, and surprisingly really cared about each of us kids and respected us as individuals. She smoked like a chimney and could drink anybody on the planet under the table, and had a host of hilarious put-downs uniquely tailored to anyone she might meet.
One Friday during April of 2003 I found out my mom had been in the hospital. Apparently she had some type of crazy period and needed a D&C to control the bleeding. I talked to her on the phone that night and she seemed okay, just a little tired. When we were hanging up, I was trying to tell her one last thing (it was so unimportant I don't remember what it was), so when she said I love you I just finished up my story without reciprocating. The next day I got the call that she had died suddenly of a massive stroke and heart attack, complicated by her Type 1 Diabetes and blood loss the previous day.
I almost dropped out of college, but somehow got bullied by my family into finishing. I got married to my then-fiance based on his connection to my mother (the connection being that he knew her while she was alive). I named Happy Go Lucky after her, and spent large portions of my time, for the first few years at least, feeling sorry for myself and guilty about the way I treated her when she was alive. I regretted so many things that I didn't ask, that I didn't say, that I didn't do, and I don't think that's something I'll ever fully get over. I no longer spend my days crying about her death, but I still miss her terribly, and I always will.
So, that's today. Fortunately, I have a few important distractions to keep me occupied. Tomorrow, we are driving to Tallahassee to see Chevelle! I'm super thrilled and beyond excited. We are taking a friend of Stitchfrank's along to babysit Rage Baby while we attend the concert, so that's all good. Then on Saturday we are driving across the state to visit my two older girls! I haven't seen them since December so I really can't wait to spend time with them. I'll let you know how it all goes down.
Sorry this post was somewhat depressing and seriously lacking in humorous anecdotes, but we've got to pack our shit to prepare, and in order to do that, we have to first unload the massive amounts of crap that we've been allowing to pollute the inside of the van for the past several months. Not really my ideal afternoon (that involves the beach and several cocktails), but it's all for a good cause and it's a healthy distraction from brooding over my mom. See ya on the flipside, or whatever the fuck cool people say to sign off.
