Wtf am I doing?

On a whim, I searched a really old blog that I had posted, and it led me to this one, which I had completely forgotten. Rereading my entries, for once I was not ashamed of what I'd written, because it was authentically me. A more trusting, naive me, to be sure, but my core self came through loud and clear. It gave me the desire to have a voice again, even if no one will read it, and I have so much to reveal and relate after four years of silence. I've learned so much, and I was too messed up and living in my own head for so long that I had no desire to write, nor anything worth being said. I'm at a place now where I need to get my thoughts out, and where I want to share how much I've grown over these years and unburden myself of all the weight I've been carrying. Because my thoughts are convoluted at the moment, I can't go into specifics just yet, but I hope that after sleep will come clarity and motivation to continue my writing.